Loneliness as a foreigner

Living in a big city can be exciting, but it can also get lonely – especially if you’ve moved from another country. I know this well: I’m German and have lived in Paris for four years now. When I first arrived, the city felt huge and overwhelming, and making friends wasn’t easy. I kept asking myself:  How can I meet people outside of work? How can I find a real group of friends and not just people I see occasionally  for having a quick coffee? 

Loneliness hits both expats and immigrants, just in different ways. Expats often move for work but don’t have many social connections. They might know colleagues, but few friends outside the office, and language or cultural differences can make even small interactions tricky. In fact, a study by AXA Global Healthcare found that almost nine in ten (87%) expats have felt isolated while living abroad, and half of them say it’s because they miss friends and family.

Immigrants and refugees face extra challenges: limited money, no established network, and sometimes traumatic past experiences. For all of them, loneliness can affect mental health – causing stress, anxiety, or depression – and even physical health. It also makes it harder to learn the language, find work, or really feel part of the community.

From my own life, I can honestly say that volunteering in associations completely changed my experience in Paris. It gave me many different friendships with people from all over the world and a stable support network. What I find especially exciting now is being part of a group that actively wants to make a difference in society and dedicates their free time to helping and supporting each other. 

As a founder of Not Alone 75, fighting that loneliness and giving people the opportunity to be part of a group is one of my main motivations : the association is designed for both expats and immigrants, bringing people together through volunteering, shared cooking, and communal meals. By participating, newcomers break cultural and language barriers and build lasting friendships. Many people find that their first real friends in the city come from these shared volunteering experiences. Small gestures –  cooking together, chatting with people in similar situations – can make a huge difference and show that loneliness far away from home doesn’t have to be permanent.